Too Far Too Late
I’m already in too far; the hurt has already begun,
Sprung upon me like a mousetrap of sorrow
I collapse onto my knees, holding my face in my hands
I know I can’t just turn back now; I must finish what I started
Love being the method of dying that’s been chosen for me
Why was I chosen for this, the most cruel and unusual of punishments?
I’ve gone in too far, set me free
I can’t take it anymore; it’s too late for me
An icy chill runs down my spine as the emptiness awakens within me
Cold tendrils of the loneliness I’ve known for so long slide down my arms
Arctic breath blows down my arms to fingers that hold death’s hand
Creeping down, it fills my whole body, now just frosty vestiges
Once again I’m played the fool; shivering, I hold myself as my tears freeze
Misery seeps into every pore and bleeds through my veins
With these jaundiced eyes I watch my life in slow motion
From the outside, looking in, I realize why wintry legions reign
All while the malicious, incessant tick-tock of lifeclocks drain
Pushing too far, I’m left all alone
It’s too late, desolations overgrown
Too far too late
For me to stay here with the weight
Too far too late
Walkabout, desiring a clean slate
Too far too late
Biding my time for release, I wait
Too far too late
Too far too late
Again I peer through the window at the darkened silhouette
At a hollow shell surrounded by pitch-blackened solitude
A scarred and tortured soul, alone, with thoughts darker than the purest eclipse
The memories of what never happened burn hotter than a thousand suns
Another betrayal winds its way, a seething snake, hissing a warning
Off the beaten path I blaze a trail, glorious fanfare long gone
Away in the nothing, I’m nowhere; simply a shadow in passing
A relic of a better time, a time that didn’t exist; just a dream
I am the thing that should not be, a monster made from pieces of others
Seeking acceptance but being quarantined, like some kind of disease
I am that filthy cur, begging for mercy, stranded in the fall of all innocence
I build my barriers around the bridges I have burned, for liberation
All under the cover of darkness, dig a hole for me to lie forever within
My own gravedigger, reaper, and harvester all in one
Now I am left here to fade from this world and all its treachery
