Too Far Too Late

Too Far Too Late

I’m already in too far; the hurt has already begun,

Sprung upon me like a mousetrap of sorrow

I collapse onto my knees, holding my face in my hands

I know I can’t just turn back now; I must finish what I started

Love being the method of dying that’s been chosen for me

Why was I chosen for this, the most cruel and unusual of punishments?

I’ve gone in too far, set me free

I can’t take it anymore; it’s too late for me

An icy chill runs down my spine as the emptiness awakens within me

Cold tendrils of the loneliness I’ve known for so long slide down my arms

Arctic breath blows down my arms to fingers that hold death’s hand

Creeping down, it fills my whole body, now just frosty vestiges

Once again I’m played the fool; shivering, I hold myself as my tears freeze

Misery seeps into every pore and bleeds through my veins

With these jaundiced eyes I watch my life in slow motion

From the outside, looking in, I realize why wintry legions reign

All while the malicious, incessant tick-tock of lifeclocks drain

Pushing too far, I’m left all alone

It’s too late, desolations overgrown

Too far too late

For me to stay here with the weight

Too far too late

Walkabout, desiring a clean slate

Too far too late

Biding my time for release, I wait

Too far too late

Too far too late

Again I peer through the window at the darkened silhouette

At a hollow shell surrounded by pitch-blackened solitude

A scarred and tortured soul, alone, with thoughts darker than the purest eclipse

The memories of what never happened burn hotter than a thousand suns

Another betrayal winds its way, a seething snake, hissing a warning

Off the beaten path I blaze a trail, glorious fanfare long gone

Away in the nothing, I’m nowhere; simply a shadow in passing

A relic of a better time, a time that didn’t exist; just a dream

I am the thing that should not be, a monster made from pieces of others

Seeking acceptance but being quarantined, like some kind of disease

I am that filthy cur, begging for mercy, stranded in the fall of all innocence

I build my barriers around the bridges I have burned, for liberation

All under the cover of darkness, dig a hole for me to lie forever within

My own gravedigger, reaper, and harvester all in one

Now I am left here to fade from this world and all its treachery