No Matter What I Do

waves of fear and love
shimmer, like illusion
pressure building up
faced with a decision
so close but so far
adding up my sorrows
heart and head engaged in war
afraid of all tomorrows

no matter what I do
It won't be perfect
no matter where I go
I can't escape it
There's a feeling growing cold
and the time is running out
but no matter what I do
I lose myself to you

I am calling from the wall
too much pain to break the fall
a million words I can't recall
but dreaming wonder
eluding me the choice
while a deluding inner voice
keeps fooling me with noise
but screaming thunder

Poison or Pleasure

everything happens for a reason

I wish I knew the reasons

Like many others I see myself

how can she have it all

there has to be a catch

poison or pleasure?

I can almost feel either on my lips

I close my eyes but it can't go black

I see all the things I've done wrong

and all the things that might have been

these ghosts haunt me, hiding fate

when the time comes it will be too late

sleep, a bird that flew away

in the memory I will stay

chained by my own choosing

but can't break the links

how can this be real

why now would she appear in flesh

Miss you

Many words I'm holding back

While the music fades to black

Because I miss you

I can't sleep I can't breathe

The time so soon but deep

Why do I miss you?

Was it fate that I met you 

on the train?  I can't forget you

But now I miss you

Right person at the wrong time?

I can't get you out of my mind

How can I miss you?

I am faced with such tough choices

It seems everyone's got a voice

Will I miss you?

Alone when I am not

You will not be forgot

I'm sure I'll miss you

As I sit here pressing keys

Wishing you would see

Because I miss you

The stars are falling down

But the clouds they block the sound

I'm sure I miss you

Alone with you

feeling alone when we're together
it's the saddest experience I've had
each day I feel more like the past
I'm sinking down in sand
in the castle you abandoned
but I'm still right here
the wind blows and the rain falls
but the leaves remain and the ground cracks

hours at a time, alone together
abandoned again it cuts
search my heart for what I saw
blind love, behind the wall I see myself
I don't recognize who I am or who I was
I still don't know how this happened
but this train is close to station
Should I leave or ride again

Disappointment, unfading, it shadows my days
I failed
I failed, and I cannot change this
I've tried
I've tried to fix this broken house
walls come tumbling down
fall apart once again I break down


I have lied to myself
I've tried to believe
I am afraid to be alone
but I'm alone with you