Why, part 1

Why, part 1

Take away all your pain,
Throw it in the corner
Unknowingly I find myself there
It all piles on me, higher and higher
Why must I drown in your tears
Worked to the point of exhaustion
I try for the surface, but sink deeper
I can’t scrub out the memories
Or wash away my personality
My hands, why? I cry again
Wishing there was reasons
Of why I became this monster
Creatures that dwell in darkness, my soul
Why be entertained by this
Carousel of nightmarish horrors
Phantasmagoric grip holding, crushing
Just like I am used to
I ask myself why, and why again
But no one answers
Symphonies of silence fill up
Infinite halls of misery
Listening to nothing
One last time.
Wallowing; and this sinking feeling
Grows inside, pain spreads
Hollowness eating me alive
I am a gourd of sorrow
Fill me up, pour me out
Why me, oh why me
Crying cold and alone, I crumble
Why, why me, what did I do
Will I live like this forever till I die?
I take one step forward, thirteen back
Unlucky, my middle name
As the noose tightens around my throat
I ask myself why, and why again
It festers within me, eating the core of my soul
It is always darkest before the light
It’s just a scratch, or is it
The million dollar question, should I stay or should I go?