Lip Hop

whatsup everybody Drfrozenfire's live and it's time to prepare for a ride
we're going to take a trip into the depths of my mind
you're going to be here for a while so sit back enjoy your time
all this shit might get scary so don't get carried away there's no escape once inside
so don't try to hide or I'll find you once you're here you are mine
and if you try to bury me smoke and mirrors all you'll find
going blind from the horrors in-

-side it's a maze so amazing all the haze from all of the days I left behind singing musical phrases
turning beautiful pages bloody red like all these cherries I am popping on stage
getting paid every day to deliver anticipation to this fucked up nation
turn on that idiot box and you'll see it on every station
we've got the crazies on the left and the crazies on the right
in the capitol building always starting up fights

too big to fail but too broken to fix
the only way I see it is we've gotta take down this
fucked up nation's politicians that are corrupting generations
these people stuck on playstations and spoonfed misinformation
lied to by those who were hired to represent you instead they spend my loot
under guise of votes they try to fly to sites like Hawaii and Cancun
printing up more money just to bail out the banks you
spend my hard earned cash, my fat stacks, I should have
but god damn then they send my brothers overseas into a blood bath
pick up some PTSD  now you can't sleep normally
and the worst part all about it's when they come back they're treated like trash
second class, like the black ash on a used match so let's come back
to the cold facts that the whole planet just wants us to quit that
and sit back on the cool grass with a pipeglass smoking that good hash
life would be better if we could all do that
so let's move towards a new plan and as humans we can stand up
instead of buying into the man, we can unite us
we can stand together hand in hand, tonight love
this is my final thought let's change that U.S. into US

No Matter What I Do

waves of fear and love
shimmer, like illusion
pressure building up
faced with a decision
so close but so far
adding up my sorrows
heart and head engaged in war
afraid of all tomorrows

no matter what I do
It won't be perfect
no matter where I go
I can't escape it
There's a feeling growing cold
and the time is running out
but no matter what I do
I lose myself to you

I am calling from the wall
too much pain to break the fall
a million words I can't recall
but dreaming wonder
eluding me the choice
while a deluding inner voice
keeps fooling me with noise
but screaming thunder

Poison or Pleasure

everything happens for a reason

I wish I knew the reasons

Like many others I see myself

how can she have it all

there has to be a catch

poison or pleasure?

I can almost feel either on my lips

I close my eyes but it can't go black

I see all the things I've done wrong

and all the things that might have been

these ghosts haunt me, hiding fate

when the time comes it will be too late

sleep, a bird that flew away

in the memory I will stay

chained by my own choosing

but can't break the links

how can this be real

why now would she appear in flesh

Miss you

Many words I'm holding back

While the music fades to black

Because I miss you

I can't sleep I can't breathe

The time so soon but deep

Why do I miss you?

Was it fate that I met you 

on the train?  I can't forget you

But now I miss you

Right person at the wrong time?

I can't get you out of my mind

How can I miss you?

I am faced with such tough choices

It seems everyone's got a voice

Will I miss you?

Alone when I am not

You will not be forgot

I'm sure I'll miss you

As I sit here pressing keys

Wishing you would see

Because I miss you

The stars are falling down

But the clouds they block the sound

I'm sure I miss you

Alone with you

feeling alone when we're together
it's the saddest experience I've had
each day I feel more like the past
I'm sinking down in sand
in the castle you abandoned
but I'm still right here
the wind blows and the rain falls
but the leaves remain and the ground cracks

hours at a time, alone together
abandoned again it cuts
search my heart for what I saw
blind love, behind the wall I see myself
I don't recognize who I am or who I was
I still don't know how this happened
but this train is close to station
Should I leave or ride again

Disappointment, unfading, it shadows my days
I failed
I failed, and I cannot change this
I've tried
I've tried to fix this broken house
walls come tumbling down
fall apart once again I break down


I have lied to myself
I've tried to believe
I am afraid to be alone
but I'm alone with you

found some old stuff

brick and mortar game of time

empty out this hidden mind of mine
the crime of passion burned too deep
failing love and falling steep

found some old stuff

Chain links rattle "attack", roundabout hack
into the mainframe, some may say I'm insane
I got a lot on my brain so much I wish it were a game
to me I can see that life's good when you're king

I wonder about my kingdome come
with me into the castle, see
You and me let's make a memory
sitting on the golden throne
The place I call home is the wonder of Rome
In all of its splendor and awe

Awesome ability to help other people
Ring out the bells from the tower of steeples

The Pace Grows Faster

Racing, though the pace grows faster
Changing who I am, forsake the latter
crash through a flash in the dynamic work ladder
seeps poison much stronger than adder
I'd rather the sadder than count up and add it
the hands turning faster like cracks on old plastic
winter was here but it came back this time faster
I can't pass through black without accepting my past

Like a window in the soul my own wall it will show
it's been built up forgotten through years of long snow
age it shows I don't know where the next winds will blow
though I hope for some greener place in which I can grow

I remember, I remember all the times in my life
sometimes private, some I hide it, but they all find a home
Questions rise up and fire up the thoughts in my head
Who am I? Why am I? Where might I could have been?

Wind and Water

Waiting on the mountain, for you to come
the wind and the water fall down
in the forest weeping, the trees hear no sound
the wind and the water fall down
along the shoreline, walking,  the ocean surrounds
still the wind and the water fall down
deep inside the grotto, I cannot be found
and the wind and water still fall, fall down

sunlight or midnight, I am still right here
be it near or farther, I will persevere
nothing here can change it, I won't shed a tear
even though it's broken, I am still right here


I'll sleep tonight and hopefully I'll see my love once more
and waking joyfully, I'll be cast down and out the door
for in dreams I live, in day I die, my life is spent for her
a wizened life that's mine to lead of things that never were
will the sun come out on a rainy day, clouds overhead won't surrender
I can tell you but you don't want to hear

sunlight or midnight, I am still right here
be it near or farther, I will persevere
nothing here can change it, I won't shed a tear
even though it's broken, I am still right here

sunlight or midnight, I am still right here
be it near or farther, I will persevere
nothing here can change it, I won't shed a tear
even though it's broken, I am still right here

Enemy of Myself

I was there, you took me in
My own mistakes, they made you win
I, I am the enemy... of myself
I, I am living... in hell



When I closed the door, I was gasping for breath
living for the moment though I know nothing's left
of me, I have broken myself like ripping out a page from the book on the top shelf
is there anyone that can make me whole, pull my dead body up outta this hole
a grave, a casket of lies. hiding from myself you can't see the disguise
though the skies are on fire no surprise from my lies I set alight
all the pain that from myself I conspired. No escape from the place that was frozen in time
it's all mine draw the line in the sand with your hand
take a stand make a plan be a man get it right
because the end of the world is coming tonight
if you don't want to stay then don't go towards the light
but this internal struggle is gonna red up the white

22 Stories

Golden one day black as coal the very next
with morning a new day foggy mist hides my breath
I walk alone you like without me
I stand dethroned surrounded by your face
Judging me, calling me, haunting me, controlling me
fooling me, finding me, expecting me, detesting me
protecting you, blessing you,walk with you, talks with you
follow you, call to you, bleed for you words of waste

and again I use this pen
over and over I try so hard
but I am always the villain at end

crying out to a black empty sky
moon and stars disappear
and the song rings out in the hollow

I try, I try to make myself complete
you lie, you lie and blood runs from your deceit
I am, I am forsaken, you condemn me
Your shadow darkens walls that now surround me
Shattering the panes as my pain is almost done
falling 22 stories in the burning summer sun
I open eyes and breathe a sigh as I know I'm gonna die
I miss you, I kissed you but each day my noose you tied

You're always with me

You've inspired a society
by bringing faith to the game
sharing the gift of piety
to a world filled with shame
but it's happened for a reason
it's all a part of god's plan
Now, I can't foretell the future
I am just a simple man

When your faith is falling
and you're low on luck
Temptation's callin
and you're feelin stuck
between a rock and a hard place
Devil's knockin on your door
prayin savin grace
need some reassurance
that you're always with me
when I can't walk, you'll carry me
and I won't give up this easily
I've worked so hard to get this far

shinin light into darkness
to awaken the people
show them that sins can be forgiven
that the good will conquer evil
you've got to never give up hope
something good can come from bad
maybe a lesson to be learned
I chose the Lord and don't look back

When your faith is falling
and you're low on luck
Temptation's callin
and you're feelin stuck
between a rock and a hard place
Devil's knockin on your door
prayin savin grace
need some reassurance
that you're always with me
when I can't walk, you'll carry me
and I won't give up this easily
I've worked so hard to get this far

I'll be number one

So here I stand with my hands at my side doin what I can to get by, learnin all the right moves to fly
but not too close to the sun I won't be burned out before I run
across the world with my girl before I'm done I'll be number one
On every chart in every state I write my music just for fun
I make my beats and lyrics great listenin to others makin mistakes
my work is my own, I compose from my home, every note and every line I write comes straight from my dome
I design every rhyme to align and be prime makin my words explode their sound like you're steppin on a land mine
I invented the telekinetic electromagnetic alpha decay time
higher than the urban skyline like a california redwood pine
I'm droppin the beat like I'm droppin an H-bomb
levelin the competition so when I take over you'll know what you did wrong
as I spit it I'll never quit it as you'll see when I'm finished
you can give up or you can get up and watch me as I go to the top
I'm never gonna stop I'm always solid like a rock
my verses grow like a cash crop, flowin like a soda pop
I look and watch you drop it like a belly flop just stop it
I take your dreams and chop it at night I'll be in my machine shop

(cue the rhyme) It's time to watch you fall it's not a crime to climb the wall of fame
no callin for help as you can hear I put you all to shame
you can look in a mirror if you want to point the finger blame yourself
you just can't compete with me, I'm on the top shelf
so hand me the crown, and get on your knees and bow
pass me the cash, and give me the keys right now
to your superlight motorbike I'll drive it every single night
my reign has come you lost the fight the game is over you know I'm right
did you really think you had a chance I know you thought I'm a rookie
I'm like Han Solo you're like Chewbacca the wookie
growling at the world while sounding bad unintentionally
unsurprisingly I slayed the beast with the best of my voice
go and play with your toys you little boy you aren't yet a man
I've been writing rhyme and fighting crime doing time since I got a plan
blowin away all the ugly beats like the USA will bomb Iran
give it up, your time is up I've turned your dunes into sand

A Life in a Second

A Life in a Second

I often wonder whether others wonder
"What's it like to be inside his head?"
Imagine a flash of lightning.
In the time it takes for the light to be gone,
this entire cycle is done.
My mind builds worlds and burns them the same day
Sometimes they die when they're born.
Others live on as questions I can't answer,
As problems I can't solve.
I often wonder whether others wonder
"What's it like to be inside his head?"

Imagine an acorn, still on the tree
It has to fall from great heights
But how can it ever grow without help?
The sun shines through blue skies, melting lakes
The little seed floats down the flowing rivers
Clouds live their lives way up high
When they die they fall, as the acorn
and together they create a life.

[Chorus]
In dreams I go so far away to lands that can't be real
All reality is chained in place A crime without appeal
A life in a second goes on in my mind
from first birth to last words thoughts live and they die

Far from first conception, the acorn lays down roots
A sprout pokes forth from the earth

Seasons pass as the tiny tree takes on stormy weather
Battling to survive winter's frosts
Summer floods wash the ground but the tree holds fast
All these obstacles have toughened its hide
Where once was soft green flesh, coarse bark now armors the tree
Where once was a seed, now lives a strong tree
A tree that's seen more than a being with sight

[Chorus]

A child fights monsters on every branch
And returns to do so for many days
The joy of the boy could last only so long
And once again the tree finds itself all alone
Years pass without warning, the tree starts to age
Where once was green leaves, dead branches make a cage
The playtime of youth is long dead and gone
And it will never come back to this tree

[Chorus]

The ancient wooden elder whose life spanned so long
Was struck down by lightning one strong summer storm
At that minute, the tree died to us all
Lovers come by burning hearts on a log
And passion pumps fuel with a kiss
The powerful tree now lies fallen and weak
A relic of what used to be

[Chorus]
[Chorus]

Shadowtide

Shadowtide
Chorus:
….And now the final bombs begin to fall through the sky
People wonder crying all across Neptune “Why oh why?!”
Higher power taken over in an hour it’ll all be over
Flying showers people cower in and out of consciousness
…How did it come to this?
……Tell me why it’s ending like this!
Why oh why did Neptune burn and die?! Shadowtide! Shadowtide!
Tell me why they ended lives!! Shadowtide! Shadowtide!
Stolen power before their eyes! It’s evil hidden in disguise!
The group they call the Shadowtide has taken over. Now it’s time to
get up and stand up to fight!

Verse:
I was wandering on in the twilight hours when I happened by a piece of paper in a little park
No faces on it tough to swallow as day grows darker I begin to feel followed
But I have to do what the government says if I don’t cooperate I’ll be laid to rest in the Overgrown Hollow labor camp
People forced to work with the sun boiling their backs all because they found themselves on the wrong side of the tracks
No water and no shade they have to work all f*&^ing day like slaves so how was this made to be the punishment for an honest man’s mistake?

Pre-chorus:
Gather your things, bring only what you can
You’re now old enough, my son It’s time to understand
People need to wake up
We need to work together if we want to free this land
It was not always this way

Verse 2:
An agent noticed late that he’d lost his written orders somewhere near the park where he’d watched his children play
Rushing to the park to retrieve the note he wrote he arrives to find a man in a black leather jacket putting something small and white inside his coat
Without letting the man see the agent snuck through trees carefully, quietly, and with a sense of urgency
He saw the man look around, knowing what was about to go down the agent walked into the open field and saw the man begin to sprint away with horror on his face

Verse 3:
The agent called out to the man in the jacket “Give me that piece paper and no one has to get hurt!”
The man turned around for a second like forever knowing what happens next could change the face of history forever
An unarmed civilian against a Shadowtide agent, he knew he was in trouble so he had to think in a jolt
Right then that very second it struck him like a bolt of lightning, he needed to get the message to the people in their homes as many as possible as quick as he can

Pre-chorus after 3rd verse:
“People in your houses, please listen to my message!
They plan to stage attacks and blame it all on the humans!
Shadowtide’s coming for me
Go quick to spread the word and you can try to make a stand
We have suffered for long enough
Gather your things, bring only what you can
You’re all caught under the shadow that’s been covering the land
Now is the time to wake up
We need to work together if we want to free this land
Remember these words I say!”

The Bridge

The Bridge
I'm so frustrated and I hate it that you cannot be sedated
So unsure of beauty, jaded at the world and how we made it
out alive how we survive but hidden patience now is tried
it's not a lie but you still hide inside the guy who burned alive
leaving trace of blackened grace that sits behind your perfect face
always behind even when grins and laughter fly from former sins like
a turtle in its shell entombed in sheltered living hell that's left behind when
the world and its people have moved on you dwell upon the former me and
how I fell from the life of the sinner I was You know
I'll always love you as the clouds burn with fire my desire
that you see I'm who you want me to be
And if it rains let it pour thunderstorms wash away the sins of past

Chorus:
[let it go let's move on
and cross this bridge we're waiting on
We have been waiting for far too long...
Let’s cross this bridge together.]x2

Let's cross this bridge together
they're coming for me to deceive
the lies that you believe
when will you see that we're meant to be together forever
come take my hand we'll go far away together
just you and me will be forever


Should I unlock the door?
I could unseal the fates to end this curse
The words that bring me back to then
Cold stars that seek revenge

you've written pages in your book
a novel of future pain and loss
so burnt out on self-esteem
you lock it in and I watch you scream

We built this bridge but you still burn it
I put out fires and try rebuilding
but smoke-stained planks adorn the walk
missing steps make it harder and harder to cross

it seems each time the canyon widens
the bridge is stretched and falls apart
you refuse to take a leap of faith
I know that I can catch your fall

[CHORUS]

…You only need give me your all

Dead Neptune

They'd welcome you to this dying planet
but its people burned were left as ashes
fighting over land that's now broken fragments
The day after the peoples' world shattered
No good can come from this place
relic of a glorious display
palace burning, not one soul searching
Statues of idols fallen, burning
Few had hope when so much hate was churning
the evil people stopped this world turning


Kings of Fading
Planet-quaking
No mistaking
What went on in this place
Dead Neptune
The last shrine of
a once-great nation that
turned itself to dust
surrogate perception
a savior said to him
"To flourish on the next world,
escape to Andromeda."
Dead Neptune
no ones left here
it's all over now
a warfare collection


They turned their gaze towards Earth
seeing humans destroying the dirt
Making all the same mistakes as them
Without realizing the cost of them
"Should we decide to interfere?"
"You know, the law is crystal clear."
In the council chambers an argument was brewing
polarity causing chaos to be ensuing
An elder waves his hand to stop and yell out something
the Kings of Fading all debating what to do

Kings of Fading
Planet-quaking
No mistaking
What went on in this place
Dead Neptune
The last shrine of
a once-great nation that
turned itself to dust
surrogate perception
the savior said to him
"To flourish on the next world,
escape to Andromeda."
Dead Neptune
no ones left here
it's all over now
a warfare collection

corrupt leaders lied to the people who had no knowledge of evil
Crying society flying away to escape all the hate that was made
Many died when they tried to run away or to hide in dark places
Only one ship made through to the other side flown by Captain Zacharyan
He was the best that there was no one could outfly him, they all died tryin
The savior had given him a message of hope of a place overgrown with green

Kings of Fading
Planet-quaking
No mistaking
What went on in this place
Dead Neptune
The last shrine of
a once-great nation that
turned itself to dust
surrogate perception
the savior said to him
"To flourish on the next world,
escape to Andromeda."
Dead Neptune
no ones left here
it's all over now
a warfare collection

Kings of Fading
Planet-quaking
No mistaking
What went on in this place
Dead Neptune
The last shrine of
a once-great nation that
turned itself to dust
surrogate perception
the savior said to him
"To flourish on the next world,
escape to Andromeda."
Dead Neptune
no ones left here
it's all over now
a warfare collection

He had gathered as many as his ship would hold, he rescued both young and old
He began on the voyage to a new space unknown, a new place to call home

Fight for freedom

The world is gettin crazier everyday
The politics you see are a maze of decay
I'm trying to make it through life, living day to day
Makin ends meet, hey, but many cannot
Find a job, they're out of work and livin on the street
Blaming capitalism and Wall Street for the mess that they see
Looking to TV for clues of what they oughtta do
But the answer lies within an old document once framed
The Declaration of Independence
Signed by many in seventeen seventy
Six it was written to shift the power, fix the balance
And make us free (free free free)
We had to fight for the right to become a nation
Now the media feeds you disinformation
And tries to get you hooked on all kinds of medication
The same shit's playing on every station
In the meantime Uncle Sam is reachin in your pocket
Feelin around til he finds your wallet
Empties it out to play another round of golf
Now, how much more injustice can you swallow?
It's time not to follow time to stand up for what's right
Clocks and watches tickin quicker in the middle of the night
Every minute every second that we're living we must fight
It's our God-given duty to protect the light

So many times throughout history
People fought for freedom and liberty
Just everyday people like you and me
Take down the king and make a new country
Now it's time once again to pick up the mighty pen
Writin words to restore our great nation and then
Sharpen swords because words won't always make you win
It's not a battle of will, it's a matter of when

drowning rain, burning flame

Sharp, arising from below
Stabbing deep nowhere to go
slowly seeking light calls my name
Shadowed visions fan the flame

Raindrops falling on a passing car
Waving as all of them fall.
I am rain and hit the grit and feel like shit
Meant to water plants but drown them instead.
flowing back to ocean, with no way out, doomed to fail every time.

Without a use, the noose grows loose.
feeling fiber of rope, finding something once lost.

"pour the gas, light the match, burn".

Waiting for a way out I shout at the rain clouds
they've locked in moisture to keep me under control.
Heat rises heart flies as skies are blue I burn
Fueling inferno raging I go consuming all I earn

Enemy of myself, words are but weapons of war.

Bridge

you've written pages in your book
a novel of future pain and loss
so burnt out on self-esteem
you lock it in and watch it scream
We built this bridge but you still burn it
I put out fires and try rebuilding
but smoke-stained planks adorn the walk
missing steps make it hard to cross

it seems each time the canyon widens
the bridge is stretched and falls apart
you refuse to take a leap of faith
I know that I can catch your fall
You only need give me your all

Calloused

mousetrap open bites down hard
bleeding, how it's opened scars
calloused pain comes back again
arisen from its hidden dark

pen to paper's been and done
nothing new for you, my son
battle on with nothing won
bleeding moon is beating sun

the hand the feeds is dripping blood
becoming ever greater flood
thoughts arisen, curse of past
bury in the baking mud!

inside the brick, a thought is locked
the mortar though is far too soft
too many bricks the walls will fall
down comes anger, burning all.

In the End

this is supposed to go to the linkin park tune.



It starts with
one thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard I've tried to keep you around and satisfied but you never look around
the rotting lies
that won't get out of your soul the lies that I told when we first hung out I know sometimes I just bring you down and maybe its time to
untie, divide,
separate the lives that we built and embrace every trace of enveloping cold to unloose all the memories outta my soul and be left all alone
With just my thoughts
together just them and me sailing out upon the frozen seas and I can't find my way back to today the day that I gave it all away

just to believe in you and me
but I can't accept the reality
That you can't understand just who I am
I am man, and that is all

one thing, I gave it to you and you took it along with thing number two: every day bit by bit with every move that I made with every word that I said
you emptied me
of all of my dreams and desires, you threw em all in the fire along with the man that you said I should be and the time has expired I'm no
longer inspired
to write any rhymes I retired the day that the music died in the fire and I can't get it back it all faded to black the rope that tied it all together went slack
For you my love
your attacks at the heart of my core I'm no more than a crack in the path under feet near the shore and the time is now yours I'm no longer your chore you don't have to worry bout me anymore

I still believe in you and me
but I can't accept the reality
That you can't understand just who I am
I am man, and that is all

It starts with
one thing, then it moves to the next, without even pausing or taking a breath it leaves you behind getting lost over time can't rewind all the times that you
lied to me
hiding things you don't want me to see, but they've always been staring directly at me, in the eye all the lies that you hid to get by but you didn't know that I would
find them out
so you locked them away but in doing so you had to know you'd destroy future days, time with me, can't you see that you changed memories now they eat away at today and
tomorrow hurts much more
you've now enslaved my quiet place leaving trace of yesterdays the time is gone but not a waste for far too long I lived in dark and now my song can truly play the doldrums roll now hear me say

I'm always here, right by your side
Even though I know you still will hide
You blinded truth from my open eyes
But I am man, and take the fall

I hold onto the you in me
and I accept what's become reality
That you can never know just where I come from
I am the one you saved and slayed, I am the one

The Lonely Man Part 2

I'm so frustrated and I hate it that you cannot be sedated
So unsure of beauty, jaded at the world and how we made it
out alive how we survive but hidden patience now is tried
it's not a lie but you still hide inside the guy who burned alive
leaving trace of blackened grace that sits behind your perfect face
always behind even when grins and laughter fly from former sins like
a turtle in its shell entombed in sheltered living hell that's left behind when
the world and its people have moved on you dwell upon the former me and how I

fell from the life of the sinner I was
You know I'll always love you
as the clouds burn with fire my desire
that you see I'm who you want me to be
And if it rains let it pour thunderstorms
wash away the sins of past
let it go let's move on and cross this bridge we're waiting on for far too long... Together.

Does it pay?

They say that it pays to go to work everyday but is it really worth it to throw your family away I say let everybody live your life everyday like its the last day on earth so would you work or choose play but in choosing you may be losing another chance to say the truth to those who mean something to you this last day how much they mean to you the golden obvious truth of what you said you would do to keep the family in tact a pact with nobody and you but when the sky crashes down and the black conquers blue I know where I'll be after but what about you?

Leap of Faith

words on the wings of a blackbird
I hurt so much more when it rains
hidden inside behind her blue eyes
are the tales of grim, my dear fate.
I hope not too late for today and tomorrow
the virus inside us from yesterdays sorrows

Now to think it was me who planted first seed
now, indeed, I know that the sower was me
I pulled from my bag of my happiness feed
hoping to grow in love such a tree
boughs so strong they can weather the ages
from its branches could be written the pages
a story of love, of two souls in desire
but it turns out the bag of seed fell in fire
now when I'm me she will wallow in mire
in love but not quite, causing darkness to fill
that void in her heart where I used to live
trading calm for the qualm of a broken will
But with such a hope as my mind can perceive
a hope for a joy, I believe it indeed.

When you know that I know

Fractured.
Feeling so frustrated that you cannot see
The lying man is no longer me.
I'm clothed in the light
and I'm closing the gap
What more can I do, I'm all that you ask

I presume it to be that if I were to look back
I'd hate what I see, your lies behind me
To know I told all, the pain that it gives
But you still hold back, This is know.

Before us came them, but you paint me an art
of perfection and then, from me falls apart
the crumbling of truth when the lies are exposed
what then shall happen when you know that I know?

Never too late to save a soul

Advantage was stolen yesterday,
and every day before that.
It's too late to rewind, but if I did... wouldn't he as well?
And everyone else?

One decision creates the perfect storm of men forlorn
doomed to perform without thought for the future.
The Unforgiven.
Men forsaken feature self-infliction upon
the faces that never foresaw such destruction
all from one decision, deathly and detractive

Inhale the pain of the future
For today it's passing pleasure
But tomorrow weeps with regret
For you have affected more than just yourself.

Change may have came too late for life,
but it's never too late to save a soul.

"I once was lost, but now am found."

No matter what happens, I'll see you again.
One life breathes it into many more, many who desperately need it.

When it is found, a calmness ensues. Almost time to meet your maker.
Before you go, you need to know I have always loved you.
Thank you for everything you have ever given me.

Old Turtle Shell

minutes bleed like hours
as I grow old for the truth
fail like I always have
Failure: Me

I am an old turtle shell, rotting inside
change you can believe in
guillotined my life, now I'm here
hollow, contingent upon Her song
Siren lures me close then throws me on the rocks
Melodies take a titanic toll on my soul
moral from the lips of the beholder

those ancient icicles on the ceiling, drip as hell arrives
falling, one by one, no reason to dodge the destruction
if the loneliest number becomes reality

remember the education factory? remember no self-worth?
do you remember crying in the slide, alone? I do.
Do you remember creating friends because you were the plague?
I do.

After quitting the factory, flames crept close
but I managed to escape

I knew they would return, as they always do.
The old familiar stink of my shell, if only it were hollow
but it's filled with regret, and the wrong choices.
factory fumes still familiar, infect my shell
"Welcome my son, welcome to the machine."

bleeding thoughts, am I capable?
If I did, would I regret it or lose the last of myself?

I am weak

Why is this my life?
Whoever said it's me?
Or is reality just a cruel and wishful destiny?
If tomorrow I'm gone I can't even tell you
how much I love you.
And now you'll never believe it.

I am weak, and my mind must die.

I'm so sorry I've put you through this.
I'm sorry I'm not stronger.
I'm sorry I just can't let myself stay.
Most of all I'm sorry I broke your heart.

....."one last kiss for you" :(

I am nothing without you

Welcome back into my life
For You it's been a while
Shady memories, hate the memories
Misery finds its way
To my quiet place
Anger is the scene, can't you hear the screams?

Behind closed eyes, he begs you,
"Give me the chance to save you.
Look. What we had was so true.
I am nothing without you..."

Will this be my last,a moonlit finale?
I did it again, I'm back here once more
If she knew, I'd already be gone
So long ago it seems, she ate the bait
But the poison which I poured, into her shown through

"Rewind the time", he can't do,
"The past still exists, we ran through.
A sorry just cannot appease you,
Is there nothing more here for me and you?"

And the world was gone
The only one I knew
Could it happen once again?
Could I change it?
The past is set in stone, built up with shade
My sweat and blood are all I've had, my mortal demons
That make my heart and hands be separate.

Behind closed eyes, he begs you,
"Give me the chance to save you.
Look. What we had was so true.
I am nothing without you..."

Behind those eyes, she begs you,
"Give me the chance to save you.
Look. By myself I can't do.
I am nothing without you..."

Moth in a Thunderstorm

should I unlock the door?
I could unseal the fates
to end this curse

the words that bring me back to then
cold stars that seek revenge

I became
The moth in a thunderstorm
dangerously close to death, in so many ways
water, to drown and thrash me down
terrible wind tosses me like a toy
signal beams from the clouds, flashing
more destructive
It's Death taking aim and hopefully missing

The end of something great?....

Blue is Black

Chasm crossing breaking; bridge is wearing out
Candlefire breathing existentialism now
Revelation on horizon? Is it whispered solemn vows?
Shimmering, the darkness as the shroud is falling down

Blue burns black while white turns grey
Peaceful til the end of day
Walk the high road, some may say
Blue is black and white is grey

Vice of love is squeezing; blood is seeping out
Can't understand the feeling, does it make you happy now?
Somewhere in the silence I remember seven vows
Without question, with emotion, for her my life lay down

Blue burned black and white turned grey
Sadness fills my heart today
I've seen it all and heard them say
Blue is black and white is grey

Forbidding thoughts foreboding, a memory slips out
A time when life was perfect, a time that wasn't now
Locked away the treasure amidst a maze of many vows
Switching pain for feeling a complete and utter down

Blue burnt black and white turnt grey
Remember the ending day
So clear as if I'd heard him say
Blue is black and white is grey

Could've been

From the tool in her hand
to the temple of his head
came a treacherous roar
making walls bleed red
Ol' Virginia the wife
was now widowed instead
Found old Thomas dead in his bed
Contradicting what the coroner said

Something beyond

I stepped outside the living hive
to see that I've become alive
In just about the nick of time
aligned inside by purest vine

The plants that each within me grow
have so far shown the way to go
why in Me I do not know
who plants these seeds in such neat rows?

Shining The Holy Ark Battle Theme [H.T.Feivel Rendition]

Welllllll
I finally finished my rendition of Shining The Holy Ark's main Battle theme. This game was for the Sega Saturn [if anyone knows what that is], and the music for it is awesome!
Here is a link to the original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgC5Bbyh1jg&feature=related

For facebook followers, go to htfeivel.blogspot.com to listen to it and tell me what you think! :)

Go To FileFactory.com

You never really know.

You never really know when your life is going to be changed forever... it just sort of.. happens.

One decision, even the smallest choice can alter the rest of your life. Perhaps writing this will change my life; perhaps not. Everyone's life is decided by the choices they make.

We don't choose to have dreams, but we do decide our goals.
And we all have dreams... but we don't all fulfill them. And our goals change faster than the tides.

It's like when we are born, we are put onto a highway that seems to go on and on for miles. We hope, and sometimes pray, that the highway never ends.

But it does.

Not only that, but every choice we make can impact the speed at which we reach it, and whether or not we even stay on the highway at all. There are plenty of exits and off-ramps that lead to many different kinds of roads and alleys, and even places where the road just stops altogether... but no matter what, if you follow directions, from any road, you can eventually find the highway again.

Every choice we make changes our course, for better or worse. For one day you may be happy, the next you're in a hearse. Some choice is not even ours to choose, for it is thrust upon us.

Human Pride

There are lyrics farther down, if you press ctrl+F and type Human Pride, they will show up.
For Facebook followers, go to htfeivel.blogspot.com to listen to this new song.
I will upload a new version when I have a microphone that works and it will have the words sung :)

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Epic Ballad Of The Moose-People

Facebook followers:
go to this link: htfeivel.blogspot.com and its the post entitled "Epic Ballad Of The Moose-People

Go To FileFactory.com

Glass room?

Between the sheets while I'm asleep
Within the dreams I walk into a room
When I close the door it disappears
And I find myself in a room with mirrors
Ten thousand Me's is all I see upon the glass
Forever in every way, silent as stone
Every Me does everything that I have ever done
But the ones that stay and play again
are the ones I daily wish to change

The lying man I see is Me?
Tell me how this came to be!
Looking left, I see the path and actions that it took
Leading up to lying Me, I wish I would've died so many times before
It could've happened but always by an inch
As if I was meant to live for something.
As I gaze to my right, I see so many future Me's
But only one that I wish to be

Staring straight ahead, the man I used to be haunts me
Somehow he gets inside her head as well
He wants the short-lived future to be made real
But I say your death has already been revealed
This is MY time, and you should be dead
So please, for our sakes, get out of my head

The boy to my left, with a gun to his ear
Doesn't realize the girl he kissed is the one I hold dear
Locked inside a closet, the boy cries alone
I feel sorry for him, but I wish him to leave,
If he comes out again, it's her who would leave,
And all these faces staring back at me
Would tell me it's my fault she didn't believe
And the man right in front, the Lying Me
Would end the life lead in misery.

I chose to kill these faces to save the places of the present
I chose to change my ways to change the course of us together
I will never be the man I was, he died
But she brings him up as if he still exists.
I want him gone forever.
The numbness has to end, the trusting must begin.
The past is not our friend, but the future we will win

Storm. With Drums. and everything else. [except words :P]

For any facebook followers, the link wont work, just go to htfeivel.blogspot.com and click play on the music widget. comments are always welcome as well. :)

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The Beginning Of The End

Go To FileFactory.com

Lyrics:

H.T. Feivel: the beginning of the end

If the future could erase the past
and the past could be lost to the world
I'd change whats been done in a flash
And complete the broken trust of my girl

The day they should come

Rusted cars in junkyards with a little boy inside
Raised by the sliding of steel wheels on the train tracks
Passed around like a virus, and treated just the same
Walking in the jungle of jagged metal, with only a ghost for a friend
A little piece of heaven just can't understand the past
To be haunted by the ones meant to love, ignorant but missed

Separated from others by his gifted curse
Carrion feasted by vultures called "friends"
Using him, losing him, in general just abusing him
Confusing when he hits the floor
An innocent mind in a world so cold
Wishing he could change the world without using fire
But burning is all they understand
Not concerned with caring about the poorer man

Left alone in the gutter for days upon end
Wishing someone would label him friend
But when no one will come
When nobody cares
But when no one will come
When nobody cares
The day they should come
He'll no longer be there
But when no one will come
When nobody cares

Storm. My new song.

Go To FileFactory.com

That man is not me!

Death's black ink upon this line
shows nothing how I feel
Prisoner inside my own mine
my memories: my meals
Haunted by the undefined
I cannot know what's real
In dreams I am the killing kind
my nature is revealed

Am I, what I never
thought that I would be
Lies of, former self
Stalk me in my dreams
Darkness, come find me
Why can't you understand
I hurt you but nearly killed me
But you just won't believe

All of my love poured out
into your paper cup
When it dries you set alight
burning future life
You can't be here inside my mind
and so you'll never see
What's past is black, former attacks
That that man is not ME!!!!

Midnight Rain

Go To FileFactory.com

Sacred meadow in my head infected by the living dead

La Luna II

Chosen to lead all who follow none,
A man within walls of himself comes undone
Moonlight reality of fantasy or meant to be
But bleeding thoughts are trapped inside his head

The sun will rise and set but the moon will always follow
A phantom of the day that only light can swallow
Hidden in the high-up white, revealed fully through the night
but the light that shines from her is borrowed

La luna drifts away but causes tides on mother Gaia,
faintly in the day a prism flying toward horizon
Debt for light in present flight, a wonder to the people
Concepts: free and liberty unfit describe celestiality
Instead, the art of ever truth and never lying
No bed, no home, no place of dying

The sun will rise and set but the moon will always follow
A phantom of the day that only light can swallow
Hidden in the high-up white, revealed fully through the night
The light that shines from her is borrowed

To every light there's a dark
not always a calm before the storm
Scarred with the age of years
scaring, bringing forth the tears and fears
Look to the stars for guidance
but you weren't always there
When you are gone all is lost
All is lost
All is lost

Fixing the loss

Chains drape like curtains from the ceiling
Tougher than steel nails
Cardboard boxes on paper trails
Fill full the shelving with you
Inside every photograph, your face
Mountains bow before your love
Yet broken trust is torn among the loss

I did it all, the past is set
It cannot change which I regret
I broke her heart, went back to start
Without the chance to change the past
But given wish to mend her heart.

The End Of Autumn

Cityscapes saught silence on the sidewalks
Cars conversing cause crashes and chaos
Cement poured across the meadow that's now lost
There is no end for the future

Leaves leap off trees only to be blown and swept away
The present is tomorrow's past, the future's yesterday
A chilling quilt fills the land with shades of dying grey
Where color bloomed now dead today, a debt we can't repay

Crumbled away the former empires of yesterday
As night flows through day, all else fades away
Mankind is so unkind to believe we justify our means
With sins that time will wash away,
A race became unclean, dull polish hardly gleams
Change is here in few short years,
For nothing's as it seems.

Autumn's dewy breath is frozen by Death
As life retreats to the rarities of warmth
Warning none of fading sun the winter snow has come and won
Echoing hands of time strangle every life until it's done

BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY

View all Denver events on Eventful

Make your mark

He never saw it coming if he did he'd still be running
Somewhere gunning down a little town until no sound is uttered
Pumping shells into the masses; anger, blood, and broken glass is
Falling down around the massive losses; blasting, lost in chaos

The military came with all their weapons make him famous
For a crime he got away with an escape that TV broadcast
Shooting footage of the man who shot a town under an hour
Show the world of today that we the people have the power

Even though they say he's evil with intelligence revealed
Someone sees the man on TV recognizing how he feels
Another time another place the memory of lying faces
Fills the space inside his brain with anger, hate, and constant failure

Sticks and Stones [Music for the Previous]

Go to folder - FileFactory.com

If I am to die

If I were to die tonight, I die a death of shame
If I had died back then, I'd have died with a grin
If I am to die tomorrow, I die locked in the past
But Death is a coyote
He tricks you into think you're dying
He makes you cold when someone's lying
He grabs your soul and closes fist
And laughs because you can't resist

So cruel a man can not be found, though evil rules this world
A fool in love is chained and bound, so people hear no cries
Disguise the shiver down your spine that comes up from another time
I can't get sick but I can suffer, from the pain an empty crime

The days of true joy have been and spent,
but at least they did while they were

Trapped In My Head part 4

Dripping come her words unheard spit venom in my throat
A spiny snake of half-truths, blind emotion on the road
I choke down her breakdown and float on knowin' it's broke now
Salvation's reservation called and they don't want the table
Always stripped away today as never takes its place
And reigns in rain pulling the reigns of blackening embrace
Where once a face now scars from pains that I could not let go
There is no way out of my head I'm trapped inside this place

Breakdown

Thanks Tom Petty

Okay, so here's what I envision for this song. A homeless man sings and there is also a lead singer, and of course, well, instruments of all kinds working together.
L.S. = lead singer, H.M = homeless man

Homeless man:
It's alright if you love me
It's alright if you won't
I'm not afraid if I die here today
Here I lay by the side of the road

Lead singer:
Do you remember seeing him so weak and thin out in the rain
While you watched him fade away from within the comfort of your train
His cold, old bones that fought for you now lie in the drain that is his grave
Red, white, and blue now forgot who he was, just another cardboard "Jesus Saves"

L.S:
Breakdown
H.M.:
Go ahead and give it to me
L.S.:
Breakdown
H.M.:
Death will take me in the night
Together:
Breakdown, oooooooo
H.M.:
It's alright, it's alright

How can he explain how hard it is if no one cares?
Everybody shifts their guilty glaze from him to anywhere
Limping every street downtown from the shrapnel of the past still there
Is it too late to save this man who lost it all? That don't seem fair

L.S:
Breakdown
H.M.:
Go ahead and give it to me
L.S.:
Breakdown
H.M.:
Death will take me in the night
Together:
Breakdown, oooooooo
H.M.:
It's alright, it's alright




Thats all i have.

Abyss

Pouring rain drips off the bridge that man just walked across
Shivering cold, soaking wet, just another broken cross
Upon his chest is written death, internal bloody holocaust
Past battles won and lost now he's left inside the thoughts
The bridge begins to burn everything that this man has lost
The sins within him hurt now manifesting into greater loss


Where once was green and good now gone and in the ground
He makes another footstep that echoes with no sound
Abyss so deep he lives in sleep a place to walk around
No place to call his home
Hope has left this man and now he shivers in the rain
Unforgotten lost in memory these scars will never fade
He crossed another bridge ticking clocks will never change
Crumbled away the former yesterday

Just the same

Visions of hell walk alive under waning moon
Mistake of the lifetime, the lifeline long gone
How is time perceived when you're lost in memory?
The shadows of the mountain caving in to black abyss
Fine portrait robed in bliss prematurely kills first kiss
A thousand miles set alight are now a flaming blaze
Remembering the nights up late and talking every day

Grapple my emotion, but learn to stay away
How was I to know that I would be to blame
Tighten binding knots, blinding white upon the sands
I always thought I'm different, but I am just the same

A life in a second

I often wonder whether others wonder
"What's it like to be inside his head?"

Imagine a flash of lightning.
In the time it takes for the light to be gone,
this entire cycle is done.
My mind builds worlds and burns them the same day
Sometimes they die when they're born.
Others live on as questions I can't answer,
As problems I can't solve.

Imagine an acorn, still on the tree
It has to fall from great heights
But how can it ever grow without help?
The sun shines through blue skies, melting lakes
The little seed floats down the flowing rivers
Clouds live their lives way up high
When they die they fall, as the acorn
and together they create a life.

Far from first conception, the acorn lays down roots
A sprout pokes forth from the earth

Seasons pass as the tiny tree takes on stormy weather
Battling to survive winter's frosts
Summer floods wash the ground but the tree holds fast
All these obstacles have toughened its hide
Where once was soft green flesh, coarse bark now armors the tree

Where once was a seed, now lives a strong tree
A tree that's seen more than a being with sight
A child fights monsters on every branch
And returns to do so for many days
The joy of the boy could last only so long
And once again the tree finds itself all alone

Years pass without warning, the tree starts to age
Where once was green leaves, dead branches make a cage
The playtime of youth is long dead and gone
And it will never come back to this tree

The ancient wooden elder whose life spanned so long
Was struck down by lightning one strong summer storm
At that minute, the tree died to us all

Lovers come by burning hearts on a log
And passion pumps fuel with a kiss
The powerful tree now lies fallen and weak
A relic of what used to be

The Suffering Meadow

In between electrified dreams
Intense with intent to suspend
Blue eyes shy back from their keeper's black past
Here's a man dead long fore his time

Forgotten who he used to be
A monster impossible to be loved
Times change with storm rains
Fill full a river his pain
As tainted water charts its course
grappling roots feed without clue
Absorbing his hate, they wither and die
There's only so much good that the sun can do.

This meadow turned wasteland offers no hope
As time attacks any new growth
Eventually all life becomes fuel for the next
When the storms arrive back with clouds tainted black
Thor's throwing thunder from inside the sky
This suffering meadow is struck with a bolt
A grim scene shadowed by death
As sparks multiply the man's rage fills inside
Through the field of hate where he first sowed his fate
In the end, fire burns us all
Until nothing remains but ashes of bones
Somehow another life is born to repeat again

it is time

My friend, it is time that the mourning bells chime
Tolling in blue, from morning through night
Waking from dreams seeing seas beyond reach
While elusive, she hides on the shadowy beach

Abruptly erupting from the death and destruction
Rose up from the ashes a figure so close
A flash of an image of one once worth knowing
Flashback to black with a past now so cold

Amnesia wraps its arms around and gives me such a hug
An iron maiden memory that traps all hope inside
Sharpened lies that pierce the flesh produce this pain I feel
Nothing will remain if I'm to fall again to hell

A place

Once existed a meadow, with flowers of white
Where crickets would serenade me all night
As sun rose, petals bloomed; the trees grew strong
An infant in bliss, but it didn't last long
Left alone in the woods, forgotten for hours
Memories formed as they burned all his flowers
This child grew up within wilting white fields
Fourteen so lonesome, gray skies clouded over
Hanging there for years to come.

Did dreamland die with the butterflies?
Meadow decay into swamplands of pain
Thunderclaps, roaring, call out his name
Did dreamland die with the butterflies?
A place no one knew, a place just for me
A place in my mind I could finally be free

New Song :)

Moonlight Reality

Dreams, they come and go
But memory lasts a lifetime
Worlds hide in his head
Just waiting for a chance
He perceives a visionary
Within his prison cell
Time speaks to the man
Who doesn't know himself.

In dreams he goes so far away
To lands that can't be real
All reality is chained
A crime without a deal

He can run, but can't be shot
He can fly and won't get caught
He can love with worries not
Under cover of moonlight reality

travel.

Merciless clouds march over mountains
The soldiers of the sky
Time is short and so unfair
Seas become my eyes
I climb the tree that showed me life
She sits right beside
A simple wish: to share my love
I'll love you til I die

You just don't understand, just how much I care
If I had the opportunity, I'd gladly take you there
I'd cuddle with you every night, run fingers through your hair
Let me be the one to travel with you there.

Sticks and Stones

H.T. Feivel: Sticks and Stones [Music for the Previous]

Eyewitness bore too much to bear
As sorrow struck him with despair
On springtime evenings, it is there
He wonders if love's in the air

After every perfect kiss
All he sees are signs of bliss
But when alone, memory is shown
These sticks and stones will break his hope

Father left him eight years old
No letters, words, or calling phone
The boy grew up feeling alone
His hatred burns a fire so cold
Because he's locked it up inside
A beast within himself he hides
He still recalls his father's eyes
Those nights that anger broke disguise

All this time, it's held inside
What do you believe?
Mother when will be my time
Where's your epiphany?
Come dance along these battle lines
Who's it gonna be?
Delude yourself, my Queen of Pine
Define your destiny?

Loneliness

i wrote this a long time ago and forgot about it.
sooo here it is

i dont know why. it seems that i can escape from the pain and prison of my mind for temporary timeshifts but in the end, and often short, i wind up in a cell of my own creation, something, somewhere i wish i didnt know. i live in this place, i infrequently am relieved of this persecution, but of course, it isnt total and complete. it is always separated with strings attached. more like rubber ropes than strings, for they yank me back. i dont know why i have been so absorbed into my introspective world of which no one can enter. i dont know how to escape. i feel trapped inside my head. my words seem to be my only release, like soemone is being held hostage inside me, but that someone is Happiness. i want him free, but he is resolved to living in solitude, and this i cannot change. i am the prison on the rock of my life, surrounded by murky waters of mistrust and malcontent, the razor-wire fences of my own impious actions surround me before the hate ever grabs control. once or twice i have slipped out of the fence, but as always, the ebb and flow of that sea of despair washes the sands of longing into an ever tidal crescendo of my own imminent doom. i dont know how long i can stay locked away within myself. just seeing her face brought it back. jsut opening my eyes brought it all back. just closing my eyes, and seeing their faces tattooed onto the backs of my eyelids burn a hole in my retina, making me wish i was blind, deaf, and dumb.

I tell you now, my pain is gone.

And just like that, I knew.
This whole time I've been feeling blue
Her mind's confused, but her heart is true
"I'd do anything for you."

I can't explain the breaking dawn
I tell you now my pain is gone

If someone viewed us from afar
They'd see romance, cuddling stars
Her love is quietly radiant and pure
We share a bond that's so secure
Such common passion, I know for sure
I am happiest with her

More of a story is hard to find
I still wonder how I was so blind
You see, she's been here, this whole time
I thought she knew, we saw the signs

dreaming

How wonderfully painful it is to fall asleep
Waking inside while my body lies
A new world emerges, built of reality
But clay dolls play games in rusted lives

Love sings that serenading siren-call,
and it warms my entire body...
but none of it is real

Death stalks me across every wall
and it floods me with fear
but none of this is real

I shake the hand of misery;
It destroys all hope in dream
Even when I'm close to death
I've only silent screams

With nothing left but crumbling end
I find myself without a friend
I walk the world, drenched in blue
Missing all I've had with you

Then the storm abates and dies
I wake up cold, apply disguise
No one knows what's held inside
But She controls my mind.

Well, It's my fault.

Behind the blue, below the clouds
A wandering mind, a sealed mouth
What is love, but pain and loss?
Enduring patience, please pay off

I've come to realize
That you're always on my mind
And whenever you're beside
I am fully satisfied.

But whenever you're not close
It's as if my hope has froze
I wish that you could know
How much I wish that it were so.

Waiting for love is the hardest thing
Because every time it ends in nothing
If only SHE were the one on MY string
She'd feel every inch of my suffering

Hard to find the words to say I love you

so the musical accompaniment for this is C, G, Am, F, and the rhythm is just hit 1 measure of upbeats per note. [aka ska]
That what I have so far.

Walls of who I used to be
Come tumbling down with a thundering sound
I'm so happily melancholy
And the rain is falling all around

Why does love always gotta be so unfair
I always think I have her then I realize that she isn't really there

I know in my heart I'm right
but the words are never heard or said
People wonder why I'm up all night
But that's because they're not inside my head

I wish that I could do or say something to make her believe
Someone tell me somehow show me something can you tell me if it was meant to be

*flush*

Entombed and enchanted in love's tallest tower
Minutes flow through days as weeks pass the hour
Shattering, the black revelation takes place
My mind...oh... what have I done?..

Pure gilded love runs red with rust
Now, a broken trust as the crow flies,
It looks down at the lies, at her built up-disguise
Compromised now is life, as I watch my demise.

Soldier of the mire

Arise from slumber to internal thunder
Memory explodes, sending shrapnel
Into my already war-torn soul
Let the rumble funnel the hurt into my heart
Until the acid fills the brim past full
And the beginning of the end, it starts.

A soldier on this battlefield of misery and lies,
I launch attacks on happiness, hidden in disguise
Bombs and words rain down, leaving craters in my mind
Nothing to control the pain, just suffering I find

The field burns all words of yearning and desire
Incinerating hope and love, consumed internal fire
My hate and anger course my blood, I've set myself to die
Before I become the soldier, the beholder of the mire

Inside my mind

Abruptly, the calm explodes as a rippling liquid,
more glossy than glass, probing for sight in the blind pit
Instead, a resonating fuzz fills my ears,
and through the static, I know.

I see, and the vision is one of anger, pain, and suffering
I hear, and the song melts my mind with tones of emotions
I feel, and the wounds will never fully heal
I am, I am what I am.

Behind the vines of mirth, my hate is itching for a fight
Tonight could be the night, for life or flight of fright
You see me,
You know me,
But I know nothing of you.
I see you,
I know you,
But you know nothing of me.

Axis crossed, in polar extreme
Only I can know what I mean.
This is forever, or so it may seem
What goes on in my head would make anyone scream.

Even when surrounding silence seeps into my mind
She speaks three words to me in her perfect harmony
And I'm melted...the butter on her toast.

Oh....and i'm excited to have a sister. :)

To my untouchable:

"It won't be long now love, like mist I slowly fill the room..."
-Sonata Arctica

I'm changed

It is time.
Gradual darkening feeds on my untapped hate
Shaking the plagued hand of corruption, I'm changed.

As night flows through day all else fades away.
Tomorrow will never be the same as yesterday.
And if today I walk away,
I'll burn alive within my hate
As night flows through day all else fades away

Moonlight is sunlight that doesn't shine
Anger points its fingers towards my mind
Leave behind this life of mine,
Sunk below the bottom line
As night flows through day all else fades away.

Current. [song]

Listen to The Cory Weber Solo Project - Current Song


check it out, listen til the end

I should have known
You can't unstitch the threads of life once they are sewn
The path is black
Everywhere I go it seems like I'm attacked
But look at him
He never gives up but he never wins
He can't forget all that's been done to him
He wants to get out but he's locked within....in.

the beginning of the end

H.T. Feivel: The Beginning Of The End
On the edge of chaos
We all wait for our time
As we swim through dark waters
Far from the fiery light
As he walks through swamps
In the ending days
The future is passing
As he digs his own grave

This is the beginning of the end

Armageddon is here
It will awaken your fears
The path is so clear
That the end is so near
As he walks through hell
In the darkest days
His future is passing
Is it too late to save?

This is the beginning of the end

Die by the hands of your maker
Never free, couldn't be
What you wanted it to be
Now you bow before the ones who fooled you
Say goodbye to the lies
No more living in disguise

hmmm. the future, eh?
I think something like this.

Behind the crisp scent of fresh-cut flowers,
There is a beautiful girl.
Striding the sands in the ecstasies of love,
I swear I'll never let her go
I'll hold her hand while the world dies
My time gets lost within her eyes
When her smile fades, I'll cheer her up
Then worthwhile days bring a clear, pure flood
of fulfillment, we won't have to hide the truth
In just a few short years, my love

The day is coming when I can steal your breath
And just looking at you will render me mute
All the days of waiting, finally put to death
Already, my dreams come complete with you :)

My untouchable, your heart is mine to hold
One day this will be our story told
The crime of time, and events that unfold
My love, your mine, our love is bold.

Think Freely. .. ...

I made this song earlier today, and I think I'm gonna start posting songs on here too. "Think Freely", as the song so explicitly states....the world is falling apart...
...
Listen to "Western Sky" - Think Freely
it's time for change
someone needs to begin
the charge to trample congress
and begin anew again
this country was the best
but now it falls apart
There needn't be hate nor blood
but change, all the same
...

To my untouchable,

I love you more than the symphony of a million serenading crickets, and I look forward to spending nice forest-rimmed lakeside evenings under a gazebo, eating dinner, and being together :)

-H.T. Feivel

oh, and "western Sky" as a band name. :P

in my sleep, i am loved

So many times, throughout the day
I remember her face, the words she used to say
Pavement talks, hallway walks almost everyday
But now all I can think about's the one that got away

I sit in chairs, while numbers stare
Neon flashbacks, she's right there
If only she had equal care
But life is cruel, alas, unfair

Journey to a crater rim, her smile hides inside
Even though she knows, we go on in silence
Try to find the spark inside, my love
Take my heart to yours, in lands above
the earth, where happiness is free
A kiss I give to you, your love you give to me
If only, but mostly this is my fantasy
Sadly this reality will never come to be

the owl and him

Full moon walks to the birdhouse
with lips sealed and memory revealed
A young man carries everything he's lost
While the biggest owl strikes melodies of night

Chords, they play inside his head
Memory repeats everything they've said
One she for him, a she who cares
A she who in reality was never there

He sits on wood, just like the owl
Together blackened, man and fowl
Fouler tears were cried and dried
No one knows what's held inside

Trust is something he can't do
It wasn't broken til he met you
You shattered trust as well as heart
A young man wishes death to start

Pour this nectar in his soul
Use your love to make him whole
Open up your concrete heart
Let love begin, let the healing start

The owl still perched upon that tree
Gazes at a man lost in memory
It sees a mouse and dives to kill
Silence echoes as all grows still

The blackbird

Among the rows of grey stone
Another man finds his home
His body rests and memory lives
But in time, that too soon will fade

"Give up," the blackbird had sadly called
"There's no justice for love after all,"
Spreading his wings, it flew away
Spreading forth misery in its own way

Each life it visits soon ends
His message of death not pretend
When the blackbird calls forth your name
You become a pawn in his game
Unfortunately his mercy is dry
And now you, too, must die

Below the rock

Brush aside my apology, bring forth my blackened eulogy
For tonight we dig this grave in somber silence shattered harmony
Torn asunder, drift on seas, remember every memory
Torture words you used to bruise me,
Rape me, use but never lose me

Hope took flight so long ago
A rope so tight around my throat
Never could I change her mind
I wonder why I'm still alive

Rock bottom's been, and deeper still
I sink far down, as moonlight fills
the room will spin, my heart you've killed
Swallow again this bitter pill

my glass jar

Adrift among memory, a man found a girl
Like life plays out, he fell in love
His lifeblood spills out, she soaks it all up
Only to poison it and shoot him in the heart

Imagine a blackbird trapped in a box
A memory prison, more solid than steel
Picture my heart, beating and alive
Inside a glass jar, cold to the touch

I gave the one that invisible prison
She smashed it, and for a moment I was free
Only until I realized what she did to me
The shattered jar left my heart exposed
Glass broken, shards impaled my heart
She wore her clay mask of lies
Unfortunately I believed her disguise
I remember all the kisses, staring in her eyes
I'll forever be wondering why, forever why

Sand Sailor

A murder of black omens, crows, stashing tokens
Of jealousy, hate, lust, and sins here unspoken
Now shattered and broken is the window to all hope
Winds blow wooden breath heavy oaken fraying one man's rope

A desert place, complete without life
without a refreshing oasis in sight
Vultures come in the middle of the night
To restore the balance of death

Tread the eternal unending deluge
Of sand, brimstone, fire that's searing right through
the flesh of all hermits and vagrants like you
Who wander til death through the hate-founded dunes

Human Pride

This ongoing war that never halts
Is there no army strong enough to revolt?
One citizen can change the course of it all
Vote blindly for change, for the end of the world

This battle is fought only to be lost
There are no more resources to exhaust
You just keep hoping help will arrive
But by your own means, you'll never survive

A soldier aims his gun, but it's too late
the bloody field of people by a desert lake
Battle lines were drawn, washed away with mud
Thousands dead and dying, holocaust of blood

The leaders sit in their distant tents
Plotting out ways just to get revengeance
You as a soldier, you've had enough
Living life in hell, from the time you wake up

Tonight they will find out how it ends
The future is changing with you and your men
You have the will, they have the way
The war will be over if they do what you say

Don't think twice, it's alright

thank you, bob dylan. here's what i have to say.


You see our life through a covered lens, babe
So in reality, you see nothing at all
You look in the past and you know the whole truth, babe
But you're scared to admit to yourself
That what if the love that was building inside
Was not just a dream or a feeling to hide
Somewhere things just got knocked out of line
Don't think twice, it's alright

It's no use tryin stay up late at night, babe
I'll come visit you in the past
And it's no use tryin to save what you break, babe
If it's broke it don't work anyhow
When meteors struck you from old wounds renewed
I knew it was useless but I still tried for you
I gave you my heart and you gave me the blues
Don't think twice it's alright

I never hear your voice on my phone, babe
Maybe you've found someone new
and I'll never forget those nights stayed up late, babe
Home, home is where my heart sleeps
Look at us now, where has the time gone
I close my eyes, and then there you are
You are the one that has most of my heart
Don't think twice, it's alright

I've lost

Caged inside these prison walls
I find I'm not alone
Morbid voices echo halls
My heart's been turned to stone

Erupting pain, I leech myself
For now a darker day
Behind the blue, the midnight shelf
All joy's been washed away

I close my eyes, and open them
But nothing is the same
My cloak of life has fraying hems
MY life: I've lost this game.

dollars

I etch these words
Upon this bill
To tell a tale
Of misery still

It grows inside
And can't be tamed
The girl I loved
I€s the one to blame

She cheated thrice
And broke my heart
Now I lay here
It's a bloody start

She came and went
And took her knife
With just four words
She ended my life.

you'll be a part of me

I know what I do is wrong
but it may be too late
the path ahead is so long
I've corrupted through my hate

All-consuming flames chart their course through my veins
A spider's web of wilted hope, I've begun to think deranged
It is raining drops of memory, enough to fill my deepest seas
As evening bells toll forth their dirge, an epiphany has come to me

Even if all my love is taken
Even while my heart is breaking
As long as I can still have thought
You'll be part of me

Even with the lies that ran so deep
Even when I call your name in my sleep
As long as I still have these thoughts
You'll be a part of me

Even if I want you to leave
Even when I scream for mercy
I get no choice, you're always here
Rooted in my deepest fear.
As long as I'm lost within the thought
You'll be a part of me.

time again...

Jaundiced eyes of time itself
look upon this man
his deck of life laid out for him
reveals a folding hand
His healed scars, his opened wounds,
His neverending plans
Misfortune's man, alone again
But now he takes a stand....

Time's lurking 'round the corner
and hiding in the streets
Clocks are ticking everywhere
Every living heart still beats

Foggy roads and dirty fields
Cliffs of stone and broken bones
Time burrows into it all
And this he realized
All his dreams have become dust
Now it's time for real life

i'm the frankenheart!

Etched upon my eyelids is a face.


Never from another have I been so inspired
Words burn inside as she kindles my fire
Little does she realize the effect she has on me
Her helping hand has saved me from the roaring blackened sea
If only she knew just what she meant, maybe she'd awaken
Until that day I'll close my eyes, living life forsaken

And some may say, "She'll never love."
While inside, I hope they're wrong
But if they're right then maybe
I should be singing a different song

while she sits on the phone....

well-worn white carpet ties me to the ground
while the stones of his words are being thrown around
he, the former lover of my current light
words of acid eat her heart in the night

Despite her knight who calls forth her name
the former lover continues his game
If it were an option I'd siphon her pain
Leech out all memory of him from her brain
Bleed him right out til the last drop is gone
So she can be happy by the upcoming dawn

Deep down she must think that she is at fault
She has been building up higher her internal walls
She won't let another pass without reason
She grows on me more with each day of each season
I wait for the day when I can hold her again
I'll give her eskimo kisses while holding her hand
Together we can both travel the land
If I get the chance to be proud as her man

Something's Off...

Another midnight shift begins:
Grinding teeth becoming sand,
Wishing for yet one more chance,
Possessed by memory forged from lies,
Half a man in his darkest night.

Coming back and going there
He knows his love was never shared
He can't break chains that lock his mind
Suffering's prisoner, he's held inside,
Tortured by her lying eyes,
Few whispered words that make him cry;
Knowing now they all were lies.

Something's off when everything's right...
The brightest day may have the darkest night
Refusing surrender to the enveloping pain
He's not insane to wish for change

A Herculean Task

and now for my attempt at middle english....

[It is] A Herculean task to hold creed whilst
Gilded honey flows forth from lying lips
Dulcet, sensual morsel; savour thy forbidden fruit
Pricketh not with ivory thy ill-fated apple of knowledge,
Heed this counsel, be it indulgence thy path:
Ne'er hath one dwelled a return voyage from the truth.

After a night in the park.

I'm just going to start this and see where it goes.


I never imagined the scene of my own eulogy.

I lay on a step of the cold concrete rise
Absorbing the words that were warming inside
Gazing at the rainbow moon, I began to cry
Hiding the tears of joy, repressing a sigh
Lying on my back in full view of night skies
The happiest times are when you're by my side.

Each night or morning when you pull up my street
I hesitate to get out of the car to my feet
While I walk to my door, I've one thing on my mind
Wondering, wondering, is now the right time?
To run back to her car, hop in, and drive off
Wondering whether to fall in love is a crime...

Inside me
Silhouettes of shadows imitate the feelings
With hope comes a burden
Is it too much for one man to bear alone?

I've been here before

WHY CANT I WRITE ANYMORE EVERYTHING I WRITE IS GARBAGE REHASHING OF WHAT IVE ALREADY SAID.
I think I should just give up.
I can no longer complete anything and my poetry has all become shit...I need to write but it's all already said.


Choking down air, flowing ice
Familiar curse returning to destroy
Is there no escape?
I've been here before,
I didn't want to return

Mirages of hope mirror not reality
Instead, echo the fantasy

Somewhere, there are good people
Hiding, alone, withdrawn from normality
Eleanor needn't have died in vain
Excruciating, the pain of knowing I've already lost
I've been here before,
I never wanted to return

Self-loathing reawakens and opens my eyes
Tears blur the vision but refuse to leave
Even blinking them away, my lungs fail
Stomach and spine slide lower inside
What's left of my heart beats faster
Ready to explode, ready to be gone
Then I close my eyes......
What I see I cannot say.

Time

I'm not alive, it's not a life
A living death, another lie.

Mourning mornings with eyelid tattoos,
Sketches of false desire and hope
Sleeping brings torturous dreams
Inescapable.

Solitude, regrets, a wish for things to change
A brand new past, a whole new life
Subtle joys, a mere curiosity of late
The shadows echo into only themselves,
Black water at the bottom of a well

Time proceeds with unending ebb
Flowing into oceans of misfortune
Waves of pace, constant, no relent
Time gathers a growing garden of weeds
Strangling any remaining will
Pulling it below the deceiving surface
Time exists with or without us

Eternal Darkness

Watching brown eyes lie, I cry.
Within my hidden mind, I die.
Without you in my life, I hide.
My butterflies are burned alive.

Saddest notes of joyless cheer
Fill my ears with midnight clear
Clouded black with soul to match
I've become my deepest fear

The crypt and tomb of bloody grim
A vault of falsity and lies
One wish in life: not be as HIM
One wish for death, compromise.

Crawl through knives, preventing sleep
Brink of lifeless, growing deep
Prisoner in my own mind
Eternal darkness: all I reap.

Two minutes that I can't get back
Water tower before skies go black
One love in Paradise
Another She that took my life

His hidden tears well up inside
While another She sits right beside
She is so near, so far gone away
How hard it is to carry on every day

Sunlight, rusted, fading fast
behind the curtains of our class
with hate and love, and memory
Of my time with her, She with me.

Winter

WINTER

Winter is soon.
Bark becomes exposed,
Leaves red, brown, and gold
Year's first frost strangles the ground

Hardening into dead dirt and ice
Grass decays; the balding hair on an old wizened man
Hibernation, not just for the grizzly
Grizzling bristly browning whiskers
Winter becomes grandfather of death.

Fingers of winter clench at hollow breaths
Children, rosy, bundled in love
Haunted without knowledge, unhaunted by experience
Winter becomes the snowfall, locking life inside
Freezing dead trees shiver with chills
Winter is inside us all.

Decrepit bones no longer hold life
Those under dirt freeze, dusty and foul
Winter swallows us whole, a tomb of frost
Within prison walls, the bustle in malls
People who deny their pasts all interact
Buying material goods to fill holes in themselves
Winter breathes the greed and sorrow

Poison

I bit the poison apple, and now it's too late

No illumination on this now-dark path

I cannot turn around now, it's too late

Her lingering pasts eat me to the point I'm gone

I hide inside my vagrant mind, unaware

I am chasing what was never there

Poisonous, what lies behind the smile

Overload, but not abandoning morality

Acidic eyes burn themselves into memory

Spark ignites inferno within the chasm we've built

Filling to the brim with hidden deceit

Prisoner to spirit of youth, condemned to suffer

It's only for the weak

Make me see, make me believe

Take your poison when you leave

Then you'll understand what it's like to be me.

Say goodbye to the world.

shitty writing.

One more time.
words pull the pin
Detonate the pain
Active again.

Love's song from a siren, serenading
A source of mildewed joy
Tainted by the knowledge
As man forever is cursed

Scars are stars that never made it
Laying dead as if it never were
Reality is a vestibule of death
Only you can change yourself.

She Will Never Understand

She will never understand.
I love the way she smiles at me
Something just fills me, a pail of love
Not one day goes by without me wondering why
I hadn't met my love any sooner

She will never understand:
The depths of my bottomless love for her
The glazed-over gaze of unbridled bliss
Every drop of my love, I pour into each kiss
Just why I feel the world still has hope.

She will never understand,
Before she awoke me, I hid in my broken shell
Every sunrise hovers in anticipation of the present
Every twilight renews stress of the rest of the world
Among it all, I stand proud as her man.

She will never understand.

waking up to a terrible dream.

I woke up early or late
Depending on your point of view
Amazed that I could sleep at all
After hearing what I did
Every man she's lied about
Makes me want to cry and shout
I hardly could sleep but a wink
The man before, he made me think.

If there was a reason, please tell me now
My love is unceasing; I wonder why? How?

Why would my love lie like loves once before
Opening my heart; her lies: steady downpour
Please make this pain all just float far away
My love is disrupted, heartbroken today

Once pleasant feeling now becomes filthy stray
In the shadows of my love, take me away
My sweet scented flower, tell me the truth
So we can get past it while we're still youth
I still want to be with you, I just want the truth



Lie awake, wide with wonder, have I overstepped my grounds?
When I hear that you're false, and my heart starts to pound
My skull gives away, crashes in to the pain
My heart questions whether twill be happy again